Walking contradiction

Im a walking dicotomy.. I´ve been feeling more bipolar lately than i ´ve ever done in my life.Does that has to do with me getting older and finally acepting im an adult? It might coz most of the issues that are involved in my personal contradiction are related to being independent. I want it really bad!!! to be able to use my time on my own.. doing things on my own. I need that. The others just are more focused in my personal life.. I want someone but im falling in love with other.. If i could just mix them together and get the pérfect blend it ill be easier. It aint happening. Sometimes i want to have a relationship, somedays is better be single. I dont know.. Somedays i wish you were here, sometimes i rather not. I m getting tired of being so undecisive.THIS IS NOT MEEEE.

I´ll try this for a change.. Im sticking to what im thinking at the moment.. thats it. Not changing all right.